From: Harassed Collegue
Dear all,
We have a problem with the water pump on the roof, the plumber has just left the building and we now require an electrician to come and do his bit, then the plumber will need to come back again. Due to the pump not working the whole building is slowly loosing water.
Building owner is aware and in the process of sending an electrician who is on his way now.
All toilets on all floors will be effected including the ground floor, we are surmising that there will be one flush in each cistern. I will keep you all updated as the new comes to hand.
Kind Regards,
Harassed Colleague
From: Hay Girl
Dear Harassed Colleague,
RE: WATER SUPPLY
Despite the fact I am currently in negotiations over the Mexican Gulf oil spill with BP and President Barack Obama on behalf of displaced Mer-xicans of this crisis, I am writing to you to express my sincere concern and distress over the turn of events of this morning at the proposed site for Land and Sea negotiations.
Previously you have indicated that you were willing to engage in dialogue over establishing the first-ever land based Consulate of the High Sea.
However, I see from your intelligence that you, and your elders, have in fact cut off all water to the aquaconsulate, hence making it impossible for it to ever be made into an environment suitable for mermen, mermaids and merbabies and of course, all creatures of the sea, big and small.
“Due to the pump not working the whole building is slowly loosing water,” does not constitute an excuse as to what the merpeople regard as a blatant slap in the gills in what they had come to view as a productive aquatic relationship.
Needless to say, if you do not restore said pump in adequate time in order to meet the construction for the Consulate of the High Sea, severe consequences will ensure for mer-human relations.
I certainly hope that the last flush remaining in the cistern is not a symbol for said relationship and may I assure you in good faith that if it were a reverse situation, I would remain,
Your faithful seavant,
Hay Girl
Mermaid Liaison, Special Envoy to Mexico, Consul-in-Chief to Mer-xicans, B.MerRels.
